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"For Fuck's Sake"... The point of it being that I am a firm believer in being careful about how you spend/budget said "Fucks". I spent a lot of years spreading myself really thin, wearing myself out and giving my time, energy, and care to other people without spending enough (if any) on myself and without getting the same in return. Let's run through a short list of "Fucks" I give: How you say and spell my name - it is not hard, it is all of two syllables and it took me the longest time to come around to liking my name, so you will respect that. Being honest - I'm not saying you have to tell me everything, I don't expect you to. But if you're not willing to share, I'd rather you tell me so. I might not understand why, but I have to respect it. Boundaries - I have them, don't push them. You will know when you have been accepted into the fold. Spending time with the people who are worth it (And the more I continue writi

I don't have a lot of free time. I work a full time job during the week and serve on the weekends. I have learned to be particular about the people I spend the precious little time with. I have some solid, wonderful friends who are more than happy with having a workout and dinner as how we hang out. Or who are willing to give up sleeping in on a Saturday morning so we can go have brunch somewhere. That being said there is merit in making time for the people who are important in your life. This weekend, one of my few close friends got married. She had deemed me worthy of being her maid of honor. Barring a scheduling error, I made the time to be available for everything she's needed of me in the process of having a successful and happy wedding day. One of the first hard lessons I learned about having and being friends is that I was not obligated to my friends. I did not owe them my time, especially if they did not respect it. Saying no meant making someone upset. Sayin

With a rare Saturday off, I spent the morning at one of the farmer's markets here in St. Louis. More to come on the beautiful day that I spent there!

You can't imagine the amount of draft posts that I have saved here... (or maybe you can?) I try and write something weekly, and save it in the hopes and efforts of coming back to it. My birthday was last week, and I turned (a whopping) 25. Can we call it a quarter life crisis if I've been complaining about trying to "find time" since 2011? I had something click into place the other week about my health. The whole thing with eating healthy and calorie deficits and blah blah blah - something I've known for years and years just dawned on me. The knowldge had been there all along! I was telling someone about it and they said, "well, yeah... but you knew that." And I did! I swear I did! The other week it just made sense . Made sense and had this right-ness that it never had before. I knew what I had to do, I knew how to approach it in the way to make me more successful without the same struggle I had been having. So last night there was the

I have never been the person for New Year's Resolutions. Yesterday was the start of a New Year. And I have thought about what I want out of 2017, but have hesitations on committing them to word. I am prone to a cycle of success and failure (just like everyone else, I'm sure). I'll set goals and have solid success for a period of time, have one or two off days and the fall off of the path of success that I had set for myself. Sounds like the struggle literally everyone else has had too. What might be a little different, is when I have that moment of failure it creates such a sense of guilt and anxiety that it makes it difficult to move on and set myself back up again. So this year I have set intentions , not goals or resolutions. These are the things I have pinpointed that I struggled with this past year, and intend to make them a central focus in my selfcare and thoughts for the year to come: Forgiving myself:  The single thing that I struggle with the most. After ye

They go hand in hand and it took me a long time to realize this. For years I had as much time as I could possibly want to write and draw and create whatever it was that I wanted to - because I had the time, because I had the drive and the ideas to communicate. That creative outlet fell out of my regular schedule pretty quickly once university hit, homework and reading assignments and studying pretty quickly took up all of my free time.. And now that I'm working, living a full "adult" life with a regular full-time job, friends, and a routine? The drive and the time are there to start that creative outlet up again, the ideas? I'm still looking for those... Trying to create after all of this time now is an uncomfortable process. It doesn't flow like it used to, and the fact that it doesn't is frustrating. It's a hard recognition to the fact that I am not the same person I used to be. So I'm setting a goal for myself to try and get those creative